oh no i just realised that we're at the end of august.
3 more days and it'll be september!!!
followed by october, november and then december.

and then its hello 2005!!!
no actually before hello 2005, its goodbye 2004.
goodbye 2004 is nearing.. that means my birthday is nearing too.
dammit. then i will be 18. sounds damn old lah. im still very happy proclaiming that im 17.

oh no i dont wanna be 18!! =( even if it means being able to club with my own id. oh no oh no! please dont come december. just stop at christmas okay? let everyday be christmas!

today marks the end of my one week term break.
in which, ive done nothing. -oh yay daphne. im how proud of you. keep it up-
all ive done/want to do is sleep... (at least 10 hours everyday. to the extend of not attending church today. just for some extra sleep)
im becoming such a pig, sometimes i suspect that i was probably a pig in my last life.
not forgetting how fat im becoming.
getting fatter + loving sleep = pig.
how great... maybe my pig(gy) name in my last life was daph-oink-ne or something.

i cannot wait for school to start tomorrow. (yes yes, can you feel my eyes rolling)
if school starts tomorrow, it means that my exams are nearing. my research essay is due very very soon. and alot more things which can really stress me out, and probably make me put on more weight. oh noooo. i dont want school to start tomorrow. =((( everything is possible with God. Dear God, can i have one extra month of holidays? AMEN.

minyen and yam! 

today i met my cousin's ex gf for dinner. enjoyed myself.. really did.

and after meeting her, i met my cousin for ktv. it was... how boring.

holidays over.
good luck daphne

why is it that when i go to jurong point i can see so many people.
now prolly everyone knows im a jpg. yea?

eight months mr danny lim.
this year will be the 83752357th time you're not spending your birthday with us.

tash drew you a lovely picture last night.
she said.. "i miss uncle dan alot.."
so do we.

im so fucking overweight now.
im so fucking fat now......... i dont even want to go out.

of fatness.... me..
aiyah. im so fat now its damn depressing.
where did the skinny genes from my mom run to?????????????????
my mom (gave birth to 4 kids) and my sis (gave birth to 2 kids) are so fucking slim.
whatever happened to me?

i am so fat now its scary..........

i need a smoke. dammit. badly.... very badly.

spoiler!!!!!

oh no!! my maid's step mom passed away.
and she needs to go back... and she probably wont come back...
OH NO OH NO!!!!!

what now? what?

enough already?

my brother bought my sis and i 9 sets of bikinis.
and the thing is my sister doesnt wear bikinis.
and i dont swim often anymore. neither do i go and tan.

so its a total waste of the 9sets.
i want to sell it.....
but then my bro bought it for us.

acckkk! decisions decisions.

today was a photo taking day again... reflections.. cheesy.. action.. hehehe. hazel if you're reading this...... i want the pics okies!!! heh.

art history spells boring.. thus the pics. haha. jimmy and i 

as you could tell i was really bored in painting class. and prolly the only one who wanted to take a pic. 

multiracial.... haha. kahlid and i with a lil of jimmy's finger. 

buddybuddy! oh the girl behind me didnt shave. eww. 

girls i love. i love i love i love. 

of many cheesy photos. =))

sundayyy sundayy!

-do cricket drawing. (before that..... buy crickets. EWW)
-start on research essay, young british artist.
-start studying for art history exam.
-find pictures for kim's sketchbook.
-do 20 good sketches for luis.
-complete photoshop project.

OH NO. what term break crap? boohoohoo.

sunday.. come come come! =)

i am how dead...................................................................

i think im gonna skip school tomorrow.
im horrid!

im how dead.

assignments due in about 12 hours time.

ive done NONE of it. yayy daphne. how great!

ive not even done the intro for my essay.
and ive got 3 drawings to complete... with shading.. dammit. so so so dead.

im trying to tell myself that i work well under pressure.

i just broke the leg of my cricket.
it has been left in the freezer since last friday.
so i went to check on my lil baby (yah right. hell no.)
and i just had to try to position the leg. and the leg just snapped.

do you think i can go to the pet shop and say....
"uncle, can i buy one cricket?"

today during art history.. we learnt about mordern art.

did you know that keith haring died of AIDS?
anyone wanna go to the gay art show at southbridgeroad?

there was alot more that mr-boring said during today's lesson about gays.
their lifestyle.. and all. but i cant exactly remember them now. ack!!
but i was greatly enlightened. so much so that on my book.. on the page that is titled art and feminism.. i wrote stuff like..

girls girls girls girls girls girls girls.
women women women women women.
men men men men men men.
girl power.
lesbian.
gay.
aids.
nu ren nu ren nu ren nu ren nu ren.
im gay but unhappy.
im gay and happy.

things i wrote to keep myself awake.

horrid morning!
sometimes i feel so tired of everything.

thank goodness the rest of the day in school was filled with jokes.

got an essay to complete by tonight.
drawing to complete by tomorrow night.
both are due on friday.

after friday???..... its the TERM BREAK!!!!!! =))))
but............. ive got another assignment due on monday. which means i have to go to school during the termbreak to do the stupid presentation thingy. and then on tuesday i have to go back again for make up lessons. ahhh. and i have no school on thursdays. so actually... its only like no school next wed and fri.

danny got yanti to pass us stuff! yay!!!!! =)

its funny how just an email brought me joy.

grouchy.
growls.

i can sense a quarrel between my sis and i soon.
shes being super paranoid about every little thing.

i have a drawing to complete by friday.
an essay to complete by friday too.

deadlines deadlines. horrid.

this has been a horrid week.
whatever happened to the joyful entry on sunday? i dont know. dammit.

i dreamt last night that i went to do a tattoo. so scary can.

why is it always about me?
why is this whole family always picking on me?

im already trying my best.
dont push it.

my mom and i were sorta quarreling.
tash came inbetween us and said.
can the both of you not quarrel and talk nicely please?

tash gave me her chupachups.
i guess im really gonna miss them next year when the girls both live at their place with the maid alone. sigh.

fine. i shall live without a fucking line.
i will just start my come back in the morning lifestyle.

so simple.

perhaps i should just stop blogging about joyful things.

goddamnmotherfuckingsonofabitch.

horrid horrid way to start a morning.

m1 fucking cut off my mobile line.
mom still doesnt want to give in. meaning she doesnt want to pay the fucking bill.
eldest brother scolded me for going out the entire weekend.
eh doode. i was doing my work you fucker.

plus the fact that my hair is getting super long. meaning the fringe too.
so i have red eyes all the time now cos my long fringe decides to poke my eye all the time.

agh. satan i hate you.
anyway its the chinese seventh month now. everyone say open the gates... yahhh right.

this whole weekend has been a happy one. not exactly happy yipee happy.. but more like joyful. filled with joy. getting joy outta simple things in life. and i like things this way. i feel so fuzzy and nice inside.

had lunch with eve at redbrick. and i left my textbook at the indian shop lah. wahlao. and i only realised it when we were at swensens. so we had to walk allll the way back to the indian shop. and then we went to brekos to study. i managed to complete like 1/4 of drawings for my visualstudies project.. and today is the first time that i drank normal coffee. not mocha or something. just coffee. super bitter leh.

misslow came to join us. and today's toilet going at brekos was so interesting. first i went to the washroom.. then of cos when u go, you try to open the door. and if its locked, you wait outside for the person inside to get out right? so i tried to open once lah. and it was locked. so i waited outside. DUH. and then this girl in purple shirt, white cap, permed hair, flare jeans and white slippers came out, stared at me.. did this super TSKKK sound and stared again. what a bitch.. so when i went down i started complaining for like 10minutes. as we were saying.. im already over the learn how not to be so sensitive and paranoid lesson. next up is... from bitterness to sweetness. no more anger. yes? ha. anyway so i went to the toilet again.... and then this lady who was waiting too started talking to me. she told me her life story.. her parents.. her breakup.. her heritage.. her age.. her ex schools. and yah..... interesting lady. but i had to keep telling her that there are other men out there.

and for the second sunday in a row, the ball bearing in my tongue came out.

today was like a ..... -come.come.lets.all.tear/cry.in.brekos.day-

the whole conversation about people leaving.
the whole conversation about people walking away and not looking back.
the whole thing about the farewell thing at the airport.
the thought of mom talking about kor last night.
the thought of how he can in the past 8 months.. not even call back once.
the thought of yesterday's talk and the statistics.

danny lim. i miss you. and those short replies to the mails that i will send to you every 25th of the month is not enough. i want to know how you're doing there. i want to see your latest picture. i want to know about your life there. i want to know you kor. as a friend. as a person. as a brother. am i asking for too much? are you so fucking busy in newyork to even communicate with us? the only time i call you is always when im abit tipsy in the middle of the night cos i know its day over there and i wont be waking you up.

anyway. yupp i started off this entry talking about joy.
i am still feeling quite joyful.
just a tinge of sadness. or rather... bitterness?

joy joy joy. fill my heart. amen.

today my mom asked me to drop danny a message to ask him how's he.

she then told me about all the little things he did last time... she told me that she dreamt of him on friday night.. she told me why danny hated our dad last time.. she told me so many things that i didnt know.

and so i asked her about his sound system.. she said its still at his old place. so i said.. why dont we sell it? and she said.. no.. cos he might want to use them when he comes back after his 3year study thingy in newyork.

and then i thought to myself.... will kor come back?

the homosexuality talk in church was err.. interesting.. ha.

went to visit my cousin at the hosp just now. so glad he's gonna be discharged tomorrow.

my mom today very very bitchy leh. growls. also very ditzy.

just got home..

i touched crickets today. LIVE ONES. ewwww!!!!! for drawing class. had to draw one..

anyway went to brasbrasah after school for jim to help me scan things in. he's forever damn nice lah. yupp. then it was off for topless5 at swensen's with buddy! haha. and then hollandvee.. sat around.. yadayada. and then i saw ringo and geraldine.. damn funny lah.

anyway... got so much work to do.. bah!

hollandvillage-ing.
gym-ing.
bukittimah-ing.

cat: "look at my fat tummy."
azhar: "no lah. my stomach fatter."
me: "ive got the fattest tummy ever!"
azhar: "no lah. you are just the flattest."

...

slept for like 12 hours. and im still very sleeepy.

thank goodness theres no assignment to hand in tomorrow. but its time i got started on my essay. its due next week and all ive done is read a book on it. ONE MISERABLE BOOK ON PICASSO.

so freaking lazy to do my work. forever procrastinating. bah.

so sad lah idol. the malay guy who's dad passed away.. hope he got into top 30.

sigh. life...

glutton square is extended!!!!!

more supper places. woohoowoohoo!

i saw the cutest guy in the lift today. hahaha.

im filled with so much hope, so much joy. i hope this will last.

oh yay im how happy! i just realised that this week im only attending school on wednesday and friday! cos i have no lessons on thursdays!

yayy yayy yayyyyY!!!!! =)

you.. !#$%^&*()_
make me so fucking worried the past week.
and then you delete the mails.
fucker.

this morning at 3am.. at the bench of holland close.

me: "eh shite, i think i lost my nose stud!"
-jen gets on the floor and start searching-
-both of us squatting, squinting and all-
me: "ehhh. on my nose. ooops."

im not exactly comfy in my comfort zone, yet i dont wanna get outta it.

im so tempted to just to buy some black hair dye and color my hair myself.

but then again, i will be wasting my money cos my fringe is how bleached. no matter what color i color it, it will still come out the ah lian color. dammit.

just got home not too long ago... yesterday was a very funny day.

met miss low in town to go shopping. for her, not me. she didnt even allow me to shop at all lah. she just keep asking me to try those funny looking clothes!! and she tried on her clothes for teacher's day. lol.

and then went to her place to listen to the shanghaidiva cd. FINALLY I FOUND SOMEONE WHO LIKES IT!!!!! =)))) and when jen came over, she was so disgusted by the music..... hahah. and when evelyn came, worst.. both of them dont even want to listen to it. but we had to cos we had to choose the theme song for the skit! HA.

so we watched the nationaldayparade with miss low's mom, dad and bro. and evelyn, jen and i just wanna feel the whole singapore thing and sing along to alllll the songs. and of cos after the parade... it was singaporeidol!!!!!!!!! hahahahaha. "lemon tree.." and everything else. i saw 2 of my friends there lah. 1 is my classmate, the other is my cousin's friend who has a super good voice but he got the lyrics wrong.

we were the lians of hollandvillage sitting at some steps eating sandwiches and chicken wings. on the way back it was wwf between miss low and i.

talked... napped.. went for a spin to see the super huge houses.. went back.. slept.. woke up.. laughed.. slept.. woke up.. breakfast.

very funny day.
mamasan ah..

im f-ing worried. please, dont let anything happen to danny.

i didnt take my usual sunday evening nap, didnt go to the hair show, didnt go out to buy dinner. just to watch the last episode of jia xi ling men and it was such a let down..... only forty five minutes, and no ending at all lah! growls.

just now so funny. hazel, christina and jen were at the bus stop near my place.. so they called me... and i went to my living room to spot them. they were like on the ground level, while im on the 28th floor.. and they were like across the big road.. and they could still see me. haha. ask me to jump somemore! (and no, i didnt!!)

lazy sunday.

its really amazing how God works at times. i mean.. the perfect couple actually showed me things arent so perfect all the time and i should stop my...... i think i wanna be a ..... thing. but.... well.

the notebook wasnt as great as i thought it would be.. typrical love story lah.

studying in breko's this afternoon was productive.

walked from tanglin all the way to cine with bev and min.
almost died. feet aching. i saw the nicest birks. but no, daphne you do not need anymore birks.

i should stop buying tops that i wont wear.

so i decided to make a detour and i saw you!!!!

ack. horrid way to start a morning. all my dreams were so nightmare-ish. it was damn scary lah. i dreamt i was on the bus and then this indian guy just shot someone. and i can still remember his face and his eyes. fuck.

check check my nick on msn. and eve's. what more can be said?

danny vs karen.
kel vs karen.

meaning, karen.. HOT.

school was freaking boring today. i did the stupid shading thingy with the 6B pencil till my hands all black lah.. growls.

went to my sis's place for a swim after school with tasha. been ages since i spent quality time with her... met some cool people at the pool whos around my age group. cool. and they're damn nice. and i was reading august's herworld. and there was this whole ah lian article and how you spot them. hahahahhaa. i hate to say this but i think im like a lian. HAHA. ok. haha. go check it out.

anyway it was hollandvee with eve, beks and ringo. and.... evelyn's relative is how f-ing hot in a andro kinda way. the dyke kind... damn hot. really.. like gorgeous. hot. stylish. and everything else thats good. haha.

gonna watch notebook tomorrow! cant wait!! YAYY! =)

evelyn came over last night and it was a night of sinful thoughts and all. ahhh. bad bad bad. hahaha.

went to nus early this afternoon to be a geek and borrow books from the library. met varian, my cousin who is super nice. haha. and then was chinatown to check out commes. ahhh the tops are damn beautiful! colorful and all.. and the bag is like.. HOW NICE... bah! but no no no, i am not gonna spend money on things that i want.... yes?

met junia at brasbrasah. afterwhich was beefnoodles. damn nice!! best ive ever eaten! and then it was town for junia and ian to go shopping..

oh no im so sleepy and ive got a stupid assignment to complete. BAH!

i think God is very very angry with me. yesterday i injured my middle finger on my left hand. deep cut. today... during the 2 hour lunch break we went to play pool. and i actually put my hand at the side and of all places jimmy's ball hit my fourth finger on my right hand. so now my typing is how screwed. and i have funny hand actions because i will tend to lift those two fingers up.

my fourth finger on my right hand is like swollen. reallly big time. like some overweight finger. or rather a pig trotter on my hands. ackkk! its superrr huge and its purple at the top knuckle upwards. am i making sense? and its hard lah. damn sick. or rather its numb. how to complete my sketching assignment???? how to carve my printmaking thingy?!!!! i cant even beng my finger now. dammit. i think i need to see a chinese sinseh lah.

just got home.. heh.

did printmaking in school today. carving and all.... i almost died. literally. from excess loss of blood. okok. im lying. but while carving, i so clever-ly stabbed the stupid wood carving thing into my finger and blood was fucking flowing. so i was like.. "SHIT THE BLOOD IS FLOWING. I THINK ITS MY NAIL. HOW HOW?? MY NAIL HOW???!!!" fucking blood on my entire finger and the floor lah. and miguel literally dragged me to the sink to wash it while i was practically screaming. super pain. but now its better lah.

went to the gym today.... and we did... STREET JAZZ. HAHAHAHA. funny shit.... super funny. i couldnt stop laughing. the actions we had to do...... the steps....... wahlao!!! JOKES! we were like fools lah. with like two left foot and all. all the turning and all.... goodness!!!

ANYONE WANNA GO TO NATION PARTY THIS SUNDAYYY?!!! GAY PARTAYYYEEE!! =)))

anyways after dinner i went to meet mel and lena. supposedly to show mel my artwork.. but we ended up at cine's rockymasters talking rubbish.. bitching about our family members.. as usual! and then ed, roy, kel, pearly, weiqi and some other guys came. for the 283457th time, roy will ask the new people i meet the same question. "guess how old is she?" the guys said 19.... weiqi said 26 lah.. wth?!! somemore i was wearing some adidas top with 501s and sneakers lah. anywayyy. such a small world... pearly actually knows danny. she flew with him before for about a year. they were team mates. such a small small world. went to newton for supper. and.... i got my photoshop shifu already. haha. yayy.

im so glad its over. ive been such a fool for the past 3 months. so so glad i saw things in the right light! =)

bukitpanjangplaza is like how happening now. i went down just now and got a shock.
i saw before me, just opposite my place.. longjohn, yoshi, mos, polar, oldchangkee, bbqexpress, breadtalk, 7-11........ and not forgetting good old macs and kfc. opposite like some fast food place like that.

how can i ever forget to blog about this... okay so yesterday after lunch at royalplazahotel, i brought tasha out for a lil window shopping. so... we went to pacific plaza's roxy cos i wanted to get her a cap and guess who i saw?!!!

*nudge hazel, jen, christina.*

the cute girl from the dunking machine. hAhahAhahA. nooooo not the cute boy in black. that one another story. im talking about the cute girl that was collecting tickets at the dunking machine!! the one that we said... "wahh. future bung.. will be quite cute!!". hahah. we all ah.. tsk tsk. never mind. anyway. yesss. i saw her at roxy with her mom and her sis. her sister is how fucking pretty i tell you. but super young lah. and that -weallhopewillbeabunginfuture- was dressed in some superrr big long sleeved top and some superrr baggy jeans and some track shoe. SEE, SEE... shes getting the hang of it. keep it up!!

grouchy monday!! plus on top of the fact that i prolly wont sleep tonight cos ive got a canvas painting to complete. DAMMIT!! whatever happened to the talks in my mind, things that went like.. 'okay daph, so throughout the entire week, you will paint a little day by day. so that you can actually sleep on monday night.' all crap lahs.

anyway im super pissed with m1. everyone should just use singtel or starhub. and not m1. they ought to be shot. nono, locked in cages. especially the bitch who was on the phone earlier on. fucking bitch ought to burn in hell.

i hate photocopies. i mean... hello?!!! ack.

my sleeping time is so screwed up.
i just woke up from a 5 hour nap. and i woke up feeling like.. "oh yay its sunday. one more day before school." and then i realised that school is only 9 hours away, im super awake. plus the fact that ive got lots of undone work but im just too lazy.

sleepy sunday.. bah.

hello irene!! haha. glad u came to church today. come more often k!

town for lunch with mom, sis, cousin and aunt. my feet hurts. everyone bought a pair of shoes today except me. i just didnt see anything i like in hue. dammit.

good day!! =) i mananged to squeeze whatever i wanted to do today in eleven hours!

funfair at st marg's primary was fun. we (jen, christina, hazel and jiaqi) were the first group of people to dunk miss low. hahaha. =) and there was this quite cute girl thats gonna be a super good looking andro, if she becomes a lesbian in future lah. heehee. and there was this super cute guy who is obviously too young for us. black shirt!!! miss low the school guide brought us on a tour.. st marg's pri changed so much.. goodness. but it was quite fun staying back after the entire thing helping out, counting the coupons and cleaning up. you kinda feel the st marg's pri spirit? am i making sense? AND THE VIKING WAS VERYY SCARY!!!! we were on the last ride.. so miss low, hazel and i sat the the ends. we were on opposite sides. and it was so freaking high..... we practically jumped outta our seats lah. so when it was my turn to be on the high part, miss low and hazel will just laugh at me cos i was superr scared. so did jen who was happily below! and when they were on the high part, i was still damn scared at the bottom. anway... viking was funny. and scary. many jokes about.... students, miss popularity, irritating girls, cute handsome young lil boys, and....... haha. those bra-less jokes.

went to sonicfest super late with misslow and jen. i was how upset cos i went all the way there for the art gallery thing. and they removed it by the time i reached lah. and it was only eight plus?? growls. so we stayed on about 9plus...... and then had dinner in hollandvee. and homee! okok sorry didnt meet u guys cos i was really tired... and ive got church tomorrow morning followed by family lunch.

so happy i did the things that i wanted to do today. funfair, sonicfest, dinner.